My Entrepreneurial Journey

I want to note before we get started, success probably doesn't mean the same thing to me as it does to you.  It's different for everyone.  ;)

*************************************************************************************

My mom and I were dreamers.  We would talk about business ideas and plan every step of the way, but then we would end the conversation with "That's what dreams are made of.".  Because of this mindset growing up, I struggled to really believe that entrepreneurship was possible for me.  I began following in my mom's footsteps, focusing on learning all I could about computers, Microsoft suite, and the skills that I would need to work in an office.  

I was a dreamer, but naturally I was also an optimist.  So I did have phases of inspiration flow and I would work for a while to bring something to fruition.  A few times I did well, but struggled with a stable mindset through it all and consistency was lacking when life would get hard.

In 2006ish I did fairly well with Avon, but I didn't handle my money well.  I had a number of loyal clients, and a few businesses that would allowed me to put brochures in their office/lobby.  I don't recall exactly how long I sold Avon, but I do believe it was about a year.

For a short time, I made paper beads and sold the jewelry that I made on Etsy.  Very few sales came from this, but I LOVED making the paper beads and jewelry, so I kept up with this until I became pregnant with my son.  The paper bead making turned to paper crafting and creating fun little paper creations like bird houses, ornaments, cards, and Valentine's gifts.  I tried selling my creations and had a couple of sales, but nothing consistent.  At this point I wasn't really educating myself on how to market what I was doing.

After this I tried a digital scrapbooking business that I gained zero sales from, a candle / wax company that the only customers I had was my mom, and a couple of close friends.  With these 2 businesses crashing so hard compared to the responses I had from Avon, I was lost and discouraged and just stuck with focusing on my full time job.  After all, by this time I was a single mom with a little boy to raise and I needed to get serious.

So for a while I did focus on my career.  I would still craft and create and make things as gifts.  By this point many of the people that knew me knew that I was pretty crafty and would ask for something special. This inspired my entrepreneurial side and my mom and I started brainstorming some other ideas for Etsy businesses.  She was blowing and painting eggs, and we both loved the idea of putting together craft kits for others to try new crafts.  So I helped her open an Etsy shop where she had 2 sales over the course of a couple of months.  She continued to create and kept her spirits high, but not too long after this she was laid off from her job, diagnosed with cancer, battled for about 4 months before leaving this earthly realm.  <3

I grieved hard, and during this time I wasn't taking care of myself.  I was barely getting dressed each day, and had just began working from home.  I was driving to get coffee one day and I saw a Paparazzi Jewelry sign on the back of someones car.  It really caught my attention and I looked it up when I got home.  I just felt like it was a sign.  I was in transition and really wanting to get out of the job that I was in and had just watched my mother's life slip away so quickly right before my eyes.  It was glaringly obvious that LIFE IS SHORT and all I have is NOW!  SO I signed up and ran what I call a successful business for 2 years.  I had a team of individuals that I loved to work with.  They were motivated and so was I.  I LOVED doing live videos on Facebook and I had a number of people that looked forward to my lives for the laughs and games that we would play.  It was such a fun time!  The sales were great, and I just poured the extra right back into the business or into my team.  I had a large inventory (I still have some). 

I went through a really rough breakup from a really rough 5 year relationship.  The break up took everything out of me and I needed to focus on myself and healing.  I no longer had the drive to do LIVE videos.  I just wanted to focus on healing and learning to love myself again.  I still had my full time job working from home, and doing this allowed me to begin to learn yoga and do things that made me happy and healthy.  I took a solo trip to the beach for a day, I made new friends, took myself on dates, cooked healthy dinners for my son and I, planned game nights for us to create a new normal in our life.  I discovered Grace & Frankie on Netflix.  I also developed some very strong friendships that helped me along this path.  It really was a true time of healing.

During my time of healing I discovered the gifts of painting, sketching, and doodling.  Doing these things was healing in themselves.  I was expressing myself through my drawings and painting and it was just... freeing!  Not long after this I developed a strong friendship with my now husband.  We would talk daily through texting and soon began dating.  One of the first gifts he gifted to me was a huge box full of art supplies.  Things that I didn't have to support my creation.  He expressed his belief in my gifts verbally and with the gift.  Once we moved in together he would make sure that I had time to do my art.  And if I wasn't taking time to do it, he would encourage me to.  

My husband also knows and understands my strong desire to be a successful entrepreneur and he continues to show his belief in me.  I became unemployed during the pandemic, and I have been gifted the opportunity to work on developing exactly what I want.  I've been doing that, but my consistency continues to lack.  Or that's what my ego likes to remind me of.  But I know that all of my endeavors have taught me lessons that I need in order to get to where I want to be.  I'm also reminded... it's not about the destination... it's about the journey.

The journey over the last 3 years has been quite wild and all over the place, but in today's world, it's easier than ever to make your mark and earn income at the same time.  I discovered "done for you" content that lead me to utilizing some of the done for you coloring pages that I invested in and turn them into Shrink Charm Kits for kiddos.  I created a number of FB communities in order to teach what I was learning from the "done for you" community, also known as the PLR community.  I've learned more about affiliate marketing and have learned to incorporate that into Expressions to bring in some extra income.  I have an Etsy store where I sell Procreate Stamps that I've created along with a number of other digital products.  My current endeavors on top of Expressions right now, is Mini Van Go Studio.  

My reason for continuing this journey, no matter how many times I fail, is because I enjoy being home with my family.  I enjoy being able to homeschool.  I love creating and learning new things and sharing my knowledge with others.  When I think of my entrepreneurial journey my "nope" self wants to tell me "Really, when are you gonna give up already?" but giving up isn't an option.  I'm enjoying this journey... every step of the way.  Every opportunity for me to express and share something with the world is a blessing, and I'm so grateful for the many opportunities that are available.

If you are in a situation that you could use some extra cash or are interested in your own entrepreneurial journey, I'd love to chat with you.  The entrepreneurial life can be designed however you choose.  Don't worry I won't push any specific idea on you.  I love brainstorming all the possibilities that there are based on the gifts and interests you already poses.  I would love to share what I know if it could save you a little time and trouble.  Let's connect and grow together.  

Breaking Family Ties

I was raised in a home that believed FAMILY WAS EVERYTHING and our family gatherings were sacred, it was a place of appreciation for one another and fellowship.  When I say family I'm talking 2 -3 generations gathering for a meal.  However, the separation between my family and I began with the passing of my grandfather.  

Witnessing the separation between siblings while he rested fairly peacefully for the last few hours of his life on this earth, it was confusing and hard for me.  Seeing them fall apart because of disagreements on inheritance and other things that I still don't fully know or understand.  At such a sensitive time, that's what they were worried about.  I was in my late 20's and still quite naive, but I believed something like this would never happen... not in MY FAMILY!

I only recently became aware and fully understand now why this family meant so much to my mother, and why she raised me to believe this way as well.  She was a single mother and during her rises and falls in life, her family supported her a lot through her struggles and she felt so much love, respect and appreciation for all of their support that she raised me with that same belief.  They were the same for me growing up.  I have many fond memories with each of my family members of them being a very loving figure in my life!

I'm not here to bash or bad mouth my relatives.  People change, grow, things happen, feelings get hurt.  I am here to share my belief that being "family" doesn't excuse you from the struggles of life, but it also doesn't mean that anyone has a free pass to disrespect or mistreat you either.

The 2nd stage of my separation from my family began when my mother passed away.  It was made very clear to me on several occasions that the relatives that I was raised to respect were great life supporters for my mother, but they weren't for me.  The respect was obviously not mutual.  My feelings were hurt, I shut down and I stopped visiting as often.  I did this all without communicating with anyone.  For all I know, the only person that knew my feelings were hurt was me.

The final stage happened when my grandmother passed away.  There was no communication with me about anything regarding her passing, the memorial service, or the grave side service.  I was extremely hurt and angry and I sent an email to one of my uncles declaring my anger and disappointment in being related to him.

That anger has been hanging around in me for quite some time now.  Repressed anger really isn't good for our physical body or our mental health.  So let's get back to my earlier point.  After acknowledging all of this anger, I've been having to come to terms with some things to help me let go of that anger.  

#1 My here and now is worth more than the outburst of emotions caused by past situations.

#2 My relatives experienced losses just as much as I did, I acted out in ways that I'm not proud of and I'm sure they did as well.  It didn't serve me and vice versa... no need to point fingers when I have my own mess to clean up.

#3 Not everyone is meant for me or to be a part of my life and vice versa.

#4 Your actions may have disappointed them just as much as their actions disappointed you.  When expectations are not communicated it can cause some of the nastiest feelings.

#5 Mama, I'm so glad that the "family" was there to support you in your life, but family has a new meaning for me.  😉

I do still believe in family and how important it is... an example, my husband and children are my number 1 priority.  During these years of separating and breaking these "family" ties I have added new family members, or I also like to call them tribe members.  Individuals that serve amazing purposes in my life, supporting me in many ways, and I am always looking for opportunities that I can be of service and support to them in their lives as well.  

Were you raised in a household that believes FAMILY IS EVERYTHING?  I'd love to hear from you on this topic over in our Expressions - The Community.  

Re-writing Your Story To Find The Hope That Your Soul Deserves

In my past, I have expressed some OCD tenancies with my journals  I would purchase a journal with a specific intention set for it.  And if I made one single error in that journal, it was ruined.  If I changed my mind or didn't stick with that journal it was tossed aside with journals from the past that were basically empty but I had declared them useless to me.

It's so easy for us to look at our life's journey and see the "bad" decisions that we've made.  I have labeled them as bad, scratched them out and blocked out parts of my journey until I've succeeded because that's all that matters, right?  Like the time that I wasted 5 years with a narcissistic, asshole that cheated on me throughout the entire relationship.  Or the time that my marriage failed because I was a religious hypocrite and he was an unfaithful and selfish man.  Or maybe the time that I decided to move out of my mom's house before I finished high school to move in with my then boyfriend, his parents and siblings because I was ready to GROW UP, only to end up being controlled by this man in ways that I swore I would never be controlled!

After each one of those seasons of my life, I wanted to give up!  I felt as if I would never find love, not real love anyway!

I made the decision a few years ago to begin to re-write those stories as an experiment to see how that would affect my mindset shift.  I was doing so good with my personal growth and my spiritual health, but I still found myself struggling to "get over" the relationship and the idea that I had "wasted time".  It wasn't wasted time, I was just wasting time wallowing in it instead of really taking a deep dive into my own shit.  I took time to feel the shit that came with all of those really negative experiences.  I did this alone!  In the process of me relearning from my past experiences, I was learning to LOVE myself!  

I would feel all of those feelings and then I would dance, cut the grass, weed eat.  I took a solo drive to the beach.  I would do yoga, sing, CRY... I did a lot of that, I screamed a few times (my neighbor came to check on me once), I began doing ART which was revealed as a talent that I didn't know I had pretty much my entire life!  I began expressing those feelings into things that were going to benefit me, bring me joy, and bring me GROWTH!

All 3 of those relationships were leading me in a direction of learning to love myself a little more and a little differently each time.  They each revealed areas of my own that needed improvement.

Allow me to share those rewritten stories with you.  I share these stories from a place of self love, self respect and a greater understanding of how my mind works, and how we have to tame our mind if we want to truly live a happy and fulfilled life DESPITE how damaging, traumatic, and scary the journey has been.  Re-writing these stories isn't about making up something that didn't really happen like writing a fairy tale.  Nope, it's about finding the seeds of knowledge and wisdom that are hiding within the experience so that we can absorb that and learn from it.

My first "adult" relationship, while I was "ready" to grow up, I wasn't fully prepared for the life that I had found myself in.  I learned very quickly how my personality and my young naive self could easily be controlled and manipulated and if I didn't quickly gain some of my own boundaries and a strong foundation it would happen again.  This lead me to find my faith and joy at a church that I soon called my home away from home and my family.  I spent so many years devoted there, serving the youth group and children's ministry, and building relationships that are still very meaningful to me to this day!  

My 1st marriage revealed so many things to me.  It took me a lot longer to recover from this one, so it wasn't until years after the separation that I realized the good from this.  I treated him terribly because he didn't believe the same way that I did.  I had to own my actions that drove a divide in the marriage.  I had to take some responsibility for the falling apart of that marriage too!  I didn't realize that I had become the person that I judged so frequently.  I had not learned how to truly and unconditionally love anyone yet.  At least not outside of my mom and my son that blessed us during that marriage.  I can say that the marriage gave my son an amazing father figure, I didn't have to do it alone like my mother did.  He and I both acknowledge our downfalls in our marriage, and have worked to become better humans so that we can co-parent together and I have to say we've succeeded.  Both of us are happily re-married to different people now, and consider each other's family an extension of our own.

My 3rd relationship was probably the most defining for me.  It revealed so many areas of growth that even still new areas are being revealed to me as some of those "bad" memories come back with my self growth work.  The infidelity began quickly in this relationship and each time I would "forgive" and carry on.  This relationship was what I would call the Roller Coaster To Hell that I could never seem to get off.  I was still attending church at the beginning of this relationship but quickly fell out of that as he moved in and we were then "living in sin".  I couldn't face the church, I felt as if I had let them all down and I just needed some time before I could make this one right.  I learned that while my faith in God was strong, I was very confused about who God was to me!  I needed a firmer foundation than what I had.  My creator isn't someone that I should feel the need to walk away from when I have "failed".  I began to spiritually wake up during this relationship, about 4 years into it, when I lost my mother to a VERY short 4 month battle with cancer and it was glaringly obvious that life is too short and I was not living my life's purpose.  I started to realize how my mindset needed to change if I wanted my relationship to change too.  I took full ownership for my relationship issues for a short time and was sure that if I repaired my mindset and my confidence he wouldn't want to cheat on me anymore.  After some serious work my mindset and confidence definitely shifted but his cheating, lying, drinking and bullying became more frequent.  It was almost having the opposite effect on our relationship.  I knew then that I had to get out of that relationship, but didn't know how.  I didn't know how to be alone.  Every time I'd end it and separate however I could, he'd come back.  There wasn't a way for me to get away.  Or that's how it felt.  This relationship revealed that I was putting myself in this situation over and over again, and because I had done that for so long the ending was going to seem to draw out and would probably be traumatic.  It was very scary and it was very traumatic, for both of us.  I needed to stand firm on my new foundation and confidence to set the boundary and close that door completely.  I'm no longer the victim of those 5 years.  The end seemed to drag on longer than necessary, but it did end.  Not everything is meant to last forever, not even romantic relationships.  

All of these failed relationships taught me something about myself and about how relationships work (or shouldn't work) and I truly believe I'm a better partner to my husband today because of every single one of the failed relationships I've had in my past.  My husband is MY PERSON!  I've never felt unconditional love the way that he and I share our love.  It's beautiful and raw and vulnerable and above all else safe.  I'm thankful for my journey, because I'm that much more grateful for the absolutely beautiful relationship that I have with my husband today!

Re-writing our story can really help us to see all areas that we need to learn from so that we can continue to grow and better ourselves.   Your soul deserves that kind of healing!

If you'd like to book a FREE 15 Minute Mindset Maintenance Session with me today, visit My Calendly.

My 7 Day Challenge Was A Flop!

But it really wasn’t.

I refused to stay in the negative of what goes wrong, and focus on the lesson to be learned from whatever negative I’m experiencing. It’s really quite fun since I’ve had this shift in my own mindset.

Anywho, I want to apologize to all of my folks that were committed to the Morning Makeover Challenge. Sharing valuable content here in The Community is a top priority of mine, but I’m learning to voice my authenticity through that, and learning which of my own experiences are valuable enough to turn into content for my readers. Ultimately it’s all valuable, but I’m new to putting my true words out there in dept.

I’m good at encouraging others, and ok at sharing my failures and accomplishments, but there’s so much of my story that I’ve kept hidden. For fear of judgement, backlash, and other things that are just not relevant… but my Nope self likes to remind me of them regularly.

Last week, after about day 4 my Nope self got a pretty good handle on me, but instead of fighting it, I just listened (our Nope self is there to teach us stuff about ourselves) and shifted my attention to my body. I was tired. Both mentally and physically and it just wasn’t good timing to try to implement a Morning Challenge, much less put the pressure on myself since I had already kind of poorly planned the whole thing. Again, I’m learning… the fact that you’re still here and reading this tells me you get it. For that, I’m grateful!

I’m going to take more time to work on the Morning Makeover Challenge, as well as others. Challenges are a great way to achieve goals, try new things, and also develop some new relationships that are positive and encouraging through the journey.

In the meantime, get ready for a bit more real-ness and raw-ness here in The Community.

I’ll leave you with a few quotes that are really helping give me courage in this decision right now.

If you'd like to book a FREE 15 Minute Mindset Maintenance Session with me today, visit My Calendly.

Healing From The Inside Out

 

Happy Self Care Sunday!

I can’t express this enough... self care can heal you from the inside out when you done with love and intention.

If you need encouragement, reminders or ideas for self care, reach out to me! I’d love to connect and with encourage you through your self care journey. Sometimes when we’ve neglected ourselves for so long we have to be reminded of how to do it. My friend and accountability partner has been that person for me, and it’s been one of the greatest blessings I’ve ever experienced. I want to do the same for others!

If you'd like to learn more about making the swap to a healthier lifestyle and save money, I'd love to chat with you. Book your 60 minute appointment with me today to discuss this further.

Thankful Grateful & Blessed

Thank you

Thanksgiving

Grateful heart

Appreciation

Blessed

These are all words of gratitude. It is one of our families core beliefs.

I believe that the true attitude of gratitude connects us with our source. I also believe that our attitude of gratitude lead us to manifesting our dreams!

We were, for 2 years, a family of 6 (plus 3 dogs) living in a 2 bedroom 1 bath trailer in small, quiet (for the most part) trailer park. The trailer was an inheritance from my mother and the only thing she had left to her name when she passed. I actually don’t have a photo of the whole trailer outside so I just snagged one off the internet. It was similar to these though . So I took over it and did a remodel on the inside. It was paid for so it was a good spot for us until we were able to rebuild our credit and get us where we needed to be to get into our family’s dream home.

Every day, I would express gratitude for that trailer. Don’t get me wrong, the walls were closing in fast! There were days that I wanted to scream “I really dislike this place!” but it was only because of minor inconveniences that just felt really big during that time. I had to keep a positive attitude. If I didn’t, I assure you I would’ve given up and we could’ve just built on rooms at the trailer. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. I know many that do it. 💙 I just had zero interest in remodeling anymore. I had done it 3 times prior to this. I was ready for a home that was ready to live in. And so was my family.

Shared rooms, no room, constant cleaning, fighting over the bathroom... it was tough... but the closeness that we had in the trailer was exactly what we needed to blend our families together. And we ended up with more than we imagined we would in a dream home.

That 2 years felt more like 3 for us, but I guarantee you had we experienced that without an attitude of gratitude, we’d still be there.

I’ll close this with a quote from Aesop

Gratitude turns what we have into enough.

If you'd like to book a FREE 15 Minute Mindset Maintenance Session with me today, visit My Calendly.